Life After School

I'm not a student anymore. I find now that my life is radically, radically different. When I come home from work, there is no assignment waiting for me. I have no tests to study for and nothing that I have to read. While I take great pleasure in this, it leaves me with a very weird feeling. You see, for so long I have found my identity in what I study. I have always found my identity as someone who makes good grades and enjoys learning.

I really like to set and reach goals too. And now as I look at my life as it is I have no short-term goals. None. Instead of having a goal of finishing out my semester well, now I guess the closest thing I have to a short-term goal is to make it to work on time everyday. Sure I have some implicit goals to gain knowledge and skills through my work experience and to treat every patient with the utmost respect and dignity. But I guess those just aren't measured very easily.

And there's this thing lately where I am questioning my choice of profession. I definitely want to work in the mental health field in some capacity, but it's the specific setting and capacity I'm not sure of. I am enjoying being an assessment counselor at a mental health hospital. I am unsure of whether I should apply for state licensure for counseling though. Right now I am not seeing clients more than once. If I got my license I would need to be working as a counselor/therapist where I carry a client load. My limited experience trying to carry a client load was mostly a flop. Granted I was working somewhere where the counseling was free (aka "not much motivation necessary") and the population was not one of my passions. I am just afraid of getting tied into something I don't want to be doing. If I found the right setting I am sure I would enjoy being a therapist. But right now honestly I am enjoying some of the more administrative tasks of the mental healthcare system. My eyes are being opened as well to the great number and variety of positions available in mental healthcare arena.

Did I mention I work nights? It's kind of weird going into work at 8pm and then coming home as it gets light outside. So far it's been easier than I thought for my body to adjust. Praise Jesus!