Words of wisdom from Thomas à Kempis

From The Imitation of Christ:

Turn your attention upon yourself and beware of judging the deeds of other
men, for in judging others a man lasbors vainly, often makes mistakes,
and
easily sins; whereas in judging and taking stock of himself he does
something
that is always profitable.

We frequently judge that things are as we wish them to be, for
through personal feeling true perspective is easily lost...

...Many, unawares, seek themselves in the things they do. They seem
even to enjoy peace of mind when things happen according to their wish and
liking, but if otherwise than they desire, they are soon disturbed and
saddened.

There's been a theme of humility and self-denial running through my life
lately (go figure, it's lent). God has consistently been pointing out my
need to step back and truly examine myself. I too often look at what other
people are doing, while ignoring my own problems and maladies of the
heart. When God looks at my heart, what does He see? That's a really
scary question. I feel I have made some progress in this direction but I
know I've only hit the tip of the iceberg.

When I take a step back and look objectively at my life, I see a girl who too often chases after her own heart's desire for happiness and comfort while throwing God's desire for her life to the wind. I guess it's kind of the story of being human, but that doesn't make it any less disturbing. I look at my life and se it's all a reaction against avoiding perceived threat and pain. Is that what God wants for me? We are not called to a life of ease, but we are called to imitate Christ and to take part in his sufferings. If I could just fully grasp the meaning of this for a day of my life, I would be forever changed I'm sure.

I love that line about true perception being lost in human feeling. We are "feely" creatures, some of us more than others. But regardless we're wired to adjust our actions around the way we're feeling. So if everything is going okay and is just peachy I am going to think everything is right with the world. I can't tell you how true this has been in my life as I'm sure it is in yours. But what is God's thought about whether or not everything is right? Is it really beneficial to search after feeling happy and secure? What does God want??

When we look at our lives through the lens of feelings, we make a jdgenment that all is right under the sun. And when this is the case, we aren't really motivated to do anything differently because we're happy just the way we are. I think happiness is the most apathetic emotion. If we let happiness control our lives we've created a monster who is never satisfied and never takes into account other people.

Now this is all sounding pretty pessimistic and hopeless about now, right? Well I don't think so. Because what we should be orienting our lives around is even better than happiness. Happiness is temporary and fleeting, while joy is eternal and everlasting. Joy looks for the highest good and does it. Joy takes hold of us and moves us toward action. It makes us about our Father's business.

So when I take a step back and examine the state of my heart, I want to see joy rather than happiness guiding my actions. I want things in my life to be the way God wants them to be rather than simply the way I want them to be. Let is be so.