Praying with a Stranger
Maybe it's the way I'm wired...maybe there's real truth in what I am about to say. You make the decision.
I have struggled in the past with random people I don't even know coming up to me and asking me if I need prayer for anything. I have never experienced this until coming to seminary, but since that time it has happened approximately five or six times. I struggle with feeling as if this is a phony and cheap way of "ministering to" people. I close myself off to them and sheepishly say "no thanks." Yet at the sime time I struggle with feeling guilty over not allowing myself to be blessed by someone's concern and willingness to pray for me.
However, I experienced this again today and it hit me why I dislike it so much. And now I don't feel guilty for being bothered by it so much. I was approached by a man who doesn't even know my name and he asks me if he can pray with me for anything. I say, "Not really, I need to answer the phone." (I'm at work and the phone happens to be beeping at me at the moment.) He puts his hand on my shoulder and just walks away. I apologize to this man if he happens to be reading this through some coincidence, but I would like to at least open up a conversation in regards to this form of ministring to people.
First of all, this expression of seeming kindness is likely to be interpreted as shallow. I believe that the best way to bless someone is to take the time to get to know him/her. There is nothing that speaks louder than an expression of interest. I do not wish to be reduced to something on someone's anonymous list of things to pray about. I do not wish to be reduced to someone's good deed for the day. While this is most likely not the intention of the prayer-sayer, this is how it's going to be received. I would rather be a face that he can put with a name and some tidbits of information about who I am. Perhaps the proper thing to do would be to approach someone, ask their name, maybe where they're from, what they're doing right now, and if they're having an okay day, etc. This simple yet personal expression of kindness is invaluable. Now when you see this person, you can call them by name and have subsequent conversations, etc. Then that person will know he/she is important enough to you that you would remember his/her name.
Second of all, well, that's just awkward, man.
Thirdly, why would someone want to share such personal information with you when you don't even take the time to ask for a name? It is a violation of certain boundaries in my opinion to ask someone you don't even know to express to you the concerns of their hearts. Chances are, if there is something weighing on my heart it is too personal to tell a stranger. Prayer is a wonderful way to express kindness and show the love of God, but perhaps this kind of conversation shoud take place between people who know each other in the context of friendship.
I am not trying to devalue prayer in any way, but am simply suggesting that prayer as an expression of concern is best displayed in the proper context. If the Spirit lays it on your heart to pray for a stranger, wouldn't that prayer be just as effective when done in private? You can minister to strangers by making them into friends. Ask them how you can pray for them after they're not strangers anymore. I would argue that it is better to engage in ministry that sincerely and genuinely invites people into our own personal space by being in relationship with them.
In order that I don't beat a dead horse...you can think about it. Is this something that is a personal preference or is it universal?
I have struggled in the past with random people I don't even know coming up to me and asking me if I need prayer for anything. I have never experienced this until coming to seminary, but since that time it has happened approximately five or six times. I struggle with feeling as if this is a phony and cheap way of "ministering to" people. I close myself off to them and sheepishly say "no thanks." Yet at the sime time I struggle with feeling guilty over not allowing myself to be blessed by someone's concern and willingness to pray for me.
However, I experienced this again today and it hit me why I dislike it so much. And now I don't feel guilty for being bothered by it so much. I was approached by a man who doesn't even know my name and he asks me if he can pray with me for anything. I say, "Not really, I need to answer the phone." (I'm at work and the phone happens to be beeping at me at the moment.) He puts his hand on my shoulder and just walks away. I apologize to this man if he happens to be reading this through some coincidence, but I would like to at least open up a conversation in regards to this form of ministring to people.
First of all, this expression of seeming kindness is likely to be interpreted as shallow. I believe that the best way to bless someone is to take the time to get to know him/her. There is nothing that speaks louder than an expression of interest. I do not wish to be reduced to something on someone's anonymous list of things to pray about. I do not wish to be reduced to someone's good deed for the day. While this is most likely not the intention of the prayer-sayer, this is how it's going to be received. I would rather be a face that he can put with a name and some tidbits of information about who I am. Perhaps the proper thing to do would be to approach someone, ask their name, maybe where they're from, what they're doing right now, and if they're having an okay day, etc. This simple yet personal expression of kindness is invaluable. Now when you see this person, you can call them by name and have subsequent conversations, etc. Then that person will know he/she is important enough to you that you would remember his/her name.
Second of all, well, that's just awkward, man.
Thirdly, why would someone want to share such personal information with you when you don't even take the time to ask for a name? It is a violation of certain boundaries in my opinion to ask someone you don't even know to express to you the concerns of their hearts. Chances are, if there is something weighing on my heart it is too personal to tell a stranger. Prayer is a wonderful way to express kindness and show the love of God, but perhaps this kind of conversation shoud take place between people who know each other in the context of friendship.
I am not trying to devalue prayer in any way, but am simply suggesting that prayer as an expression of concern is best displayed in the proper context. If the Spirit lays it on your heart to pray for a stranger, wouldn't that prayer be just as effective when done in private? You can minister to strangers by making them into friends. Ask them how you can pray for them after they're not strangers anymore. I would argue that it is better to engage in ministry that sincerely and genuinely invites people into our own personal space by being in relationship with them.
In order that I don't beat a dead horse...you can think about it. Is this something that is a personal preference or is it universal?
posted by Jackie | 4:52 PM
3 Comments:
I agree with you completely, Jackie.
good post
Good stuff Jackie. I'm right there with you. We have too much taken our perceived religious duties outside of a relational context. Just doesn't fit or work. Peace to you.
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